Goodbye, My Love
by themccallgleek
Summary: Lily and Regulus are friends, but Lily finds out about his feelings for her. AU? Only if you can prove it.


**Goodbye, My Love**

**Disclaimer: Honestly. If I'd written Harry Potter, a) it would have been awful, b) it would have been disgraceful and c) it would have been terrible. In short: I don't own Harry Potter. I don't claim to own it, either.**

When she smiled at him, he flinched back like he'd been slapped. Eyebrow creasing with concern, Lily Evans looked at Regulus Black, trying to figure out what was wrong with him.

Yesterday, they'd been talking; even getting along, a surprise to many people. He'd confided in her some things that she was sure he hadn't even told his brother – like the fact that he was scared of You-Know-Who and being kicked out, that was the only reason he'd joined up. A month ago, when they'd met properly, Lily was sure he hadn't liked her. Then, after a week, he approached her again, started to talk to her. Sirius knew about their sort-of friendship, but never did anything to stop it. He knew that Lily could look after herself if Regulus got too dangerous.

But he never did. He seemed quiet, smart and sweet. They laughed and joked with each other, studied with each other, for about three weeks. And then, today, he hadn't met her outside the Great Hall, ready to walk in and chat for a bit before joining their respectable tables for breakfast. The redhead had just figured he'd had more important things on his mind. As she smiled at him, though, she realised it was something else. He was acting like he was... scared of her? No, more wary. She'd keep her distance for a bit, but then accost him. Ask him what was wrong.

"Hello, love."

A hand grabbed hers under the table and she jumped, blinking in shock as she turned to look at the newcomer. It was James. She opened her mouth to come up with some retort, telling him to let go of her hand, except it never came. Because she was dating him. It had all been a blur, the first night. Then her best friend, Alice, had told her what she'd forgotten. She'd finally snapped and snogged James Potter. The boy she supposedly hated for seven years.

"Are you okay?" He asked, peering into her face with unease on his face.

Realising she hadn't said anything, only stared at him, she forced her mouth into a smile and nodded. "Of course I am. I just..." she watched out of the corner of her eye as Regulus left the Great Hall. Through the gap in the doorway, she saw him head upstairs – to the library, most likely. "Yeah. I just have to go and do something, okay? Tell Binns some excuse."

"Binns?"

"Yeah... what?" She said distractedly, chewing on the inside of her lip as she turned to face James, whose eyes were searching hers for some clue as to why she was acting to strange.

He smiled gently at her, like a smile someone would give when they were about to deliver bad news. "Love... we haven't got lessons today. It's Saturday." He squeezed her hand, still seeking reassurance that she was okay.

"Oh. Right. Well, I'll see you later then." She leant in, kissed his cheek, and then stood up, moving out to go and find her odd Slytherin friend.

When she found him, she plonked herself on the seat opposite where he was working and cleared her throat.

He looked up, startled, and then, upon seeing who the intruder was, looked back down again. "Hi." He said miserably.

"Regulus..." she began softly. "What's wrong? You look ill. Please, tell me."

Eyes still downcast, he shook his head slowly. "I can't."

Lily sighed. "Okay. I'll go and get Sirius then, shall I?"

This managed to attract his attention. "No, please, don't. He... he hates me, anyway. I'm too much of a Black for him. Too Slytherin. Too Pureblood." The way he spat it out made it sound like an insult – a way that Lily had heard those words spoken many times, by Regulus' brother himself.

"Fine. Then tell me. I'm not going to judge you or anything, you know. I'm here to be your friend. I'm here for you to talk to." She reached across the table and touched his hand lightly. It sprang back, like it was burnt. Cheeks red, Regulus shook his head mutely. "Please? I'm worried about you."

"Lily... I... I love you. Which is why I can't be your friend anymore. Don't say anything, just listen." His pleading eyes were enough. She merely nodded. "I know you can never feel the same way about me, because you're in love with Potter so much. Don't deny it; a fool could see it from the beginning. And it just hurts to see the two of you together and know nothing I do will ever come close to who he is. I want you to be happy, Lily. My own happiness is worth nothing – no-one cares what happens to me. So I don't want to be friends with you, because it hurts me so much to see the two of you and know that it's something I can't have. So... I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry I hurt you... how long?" She just managed to choke out.

He smiled slightly and put his hand on her cheek. "Only a few hours. I realised yesterday and this morning I knew what I had to do. So this may not be the last time you see me, but it will be the last time I speak to you. I'm sorry if I hurt you; that was never the intention. I wanted to hurt you less by stopping this friendship now before something happened that you would regret. Goodbye, my love." He kissed her cheek quickly – not unlike the kiss that Lily herself had given James just a few minutes ago – smiled sadly at her, gathered up his work and left.

Lily sat for a few minutes, processing everything that happened. When James came along a while later, she realised that everything Regulus had said was right. She was in love with James. If she and Regulus had kissed, she would have regretted it. Just him saying 'goodbye, my love' seemed inadequate, but there was nothing left to do. He was gone, forever, from her life. And in some ways, it was better.

**A/N: Once again, don't shoot me. I don't know why I write things like this. Anywho, a review a day keeps the depression away! (I may have stolen this from someone accidently. If so, sorry.) I know it's bad; I don't know what I'm on most the time. ^.^**


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